Is it just me or is the traffic godawful so far this week? And is it just me or are the vast majority of problems caused by a small number of utter gimps? Will people have re-learned how to drive after the bank hols by next week? I hope so.

Friday night traffic (19:52), Five Ways, Birmingham. Click for big.

The view from FNS towers (Five Ways, Birmingham) today, 9pm. Click for hugeness.

Option 1: Increase the speed limit to the 85th percentile speed (85th percentile meaning 85% of people are slower than, and 15% faster) as is good historical speed limit practice, or:

Option 2: Say "bloody hell, everybody is speeding by a massive amount" and install some speed cameras.

Answers on a postcard please. I already feel I have an inkling as to what will happen

Normally we residents of the surrounding area receive information about road closures etc, so we know what is happening and can make plans to accomodate. This year I received precisely fuck all.

Anyway, I had to visit my mother this morning, and returned home about 2:15. Every road in the vicinity of my flat is utterly clogged up with buses, taxis and cars; not helped by the many minicab drivers who attempt to cut the queues and end up blocking what little clear road remains when they try to get back in to the queue.

My flat (and the car park entrance) are within 50 yards of the somewhat generous road closures.

Last year I seem to remember residents being allowed through. Not this year.

A certian hi-vis vest wearing tosser seems to be taking great pleasure in his 'duties' of causing maximum inconvenience to everyone and wielding what little 'power' he has, or at least thinks he has; backed up with lots of authoritative sounding words like 'council' and 'police'. Apparently we're supposed to drive round hideously congested streets for hours, hoping to find a parking space somewhere nearby (clue: there's a festival on; there aren't any) and walk a mile or two home, then back again later to collect the car because he, THE ALL POWERFUL ROAD CLOSURE MAN OF JUSTICE, allows NO-ONE TO PASS!! I should "take it up with the council if I don't like it" (his words).

What I will say is this- fuck you, you utter waste of skin, oxygen and everyting else; you fuckpigs in yellow bibs (inspectors of various types, 'compliance officers' etc etc etc) are the one thing above all wrong with Britain today, and I know it's a terrible cliche but your backs will be first against then wall when the revolution comes. Fuck off and die.

N.b: I'm home now, thanks to a barricade nearby being unmanned and having blown down in the wind. The roads inside the cordon are of  course deserted.

Council flats being demolished, off Gooch St, Birmingham, 05/03/2010

The mound of meat is available just off M42 J2, and features 4 burger patties (of unspecified size), 8 rashers of bacon, 8 cheese slices, and for some reason some lettuce and tomato as well.

Yours for only £8.

That photo is genuinely making me hungry. Unsurprisingly, the British Heart Foundation isn't happy. I will not dignify them by reproducing their quote.